The world is bigger than my knowing

Coming home to myself

self compassion has been a theme this week

in circles and conversations

of changes big and small

and adjustments in lifestyle

and adjustments to expectations

spending moments lost in the colors of the dahlia

slow dancing in the kitchen

home cooked meals and interesting conversations

neighbors popping over and helping at the moment of lostness

help comes when i least expect

and i forget that the world is bigger than my knowing

dreaminess and rooted-down ness.

both converge to bring their own comfort

the aliveness of something that excites and scares me

the comfort of drawing back and in and taking my time

the dancing between the two worlds

high ceilings and paint chips

hardwood floors and dehumidifiers

decisions and to-dos and daydreams

i see in my past writing

of advice to self about this move

“let go of the perfect timing and the perfect order”

advice forgotten and seen at just the right moment

oh wait, there is no “just the right moment”

there’s right here, right now

and newness and clarity brought each time i allow it to

i’m all over the place today

i might call it scattered

or perhaps roaming

or perhaps finding my footing

uncomfortable and yet at home

familiar in the unfamiliarity

knowing that all will unfold as it will

the pictures will find their place on the wall

the chair i see in my mind’s eye for the upstairs nook will be found

the paint will be decided, and a painter will actually call me back to do the work

and room by room

step by step

the home i sense will be seen

uncovered

and lived-in

**I wrote this not long after i made a big leap! I followed my heart to Maine (a few states away from where i'd been), bought my first home and then...gulp! I realized all that i didn't know in home ownership! Fear, overwhelm, self doubt...all crept in to ask what i was doing. what i had done. Like with most changes, at some point there is an "oh shit!" moment... Maybe it's before you've made the leap.. or perhaps just after.

Taking leaps toward your dreams means you have to make peace with these "oh shit" moments.

• Let them in. Let them pass.

• Offer yourself compassion, ask what you need.

• Allow yourself the time and space to adjust to your change.

• Seek the support you need. it's okay to ask for help.

And soon enough you find your footing again. You will find your sense of being home with yourself once again.

I coach women to step into their creative power. If you would like support to navigate the change you've made, or to help you as you jump into something new, something more, contact me for a free introductory session. I help you find safety in your adventures.